Iwate Mitsuko

I haven't had much time this past month to write in my journal!

A lot has happened.

The Host Club had a wonderful event where we, the patrons, were able to serve the hosts; it was great fun! We dressed as geishas, kimono and make-up, the whole thing. My mother was absolutely beside herself with joy. She said she thinks Ohtori Kyoya and Souh Tamaki are miracle workers, and she wants to meet Mori-senpai too.

We had tea and brought Mori-senpai and his cousin, Hunny-senpai, tea and snacks. Yuki-chan, the girl who goes to another school, but comes to our host club? She was very thoughtful and brought Mori-senpai crab and a special cake for Hunny-senpai. AND! While we got a poetry-turned-play thing going, she was so kind to be the dragon. It was just a lark on my part, and I didn't think it would get as big a reaction as it did. But it went over well, and I have to admit, I had a great time.

I got a message the other day, that Mori-senpai and Hunny-senpai chose me as their favorite geisha and I have the honor of dancing first with them at the next event.

O.O

While I'm flattered and grateful... dancing with them in front of everyone, watching? I'm a really a little nervous.

I figured out today why I like the host club so much.

I'm safe there.

Well, my brother's betrothal announcement will be made later this month. Mother thought it would be nice to have both the engagement part and the kimono viewing at the same time, and this way, those guests who may not be able to make it will be able to enjoy both festivities and not feel slighted. She said the closer it gets to fall, the more business trips are planned, and with this planning, it shows we're considerate enough to consider our guests before our own enjoyment. Also, she said, it's best not to have two large affairs so close together. Too flashy, too neveau riche.

And I hadn't even thought of it that way. I never would have thought of that at all- and that's what scares me about my society and getting married myself. What if I never think of these things and cause a huge scandal without meaning to? There is no excuse for ignorance.

And then, of course, it puts me on a sort of hyper alert about myself, and I can just feel my chest tightening even more until I can barely breath at functions, let alone speak and mingle.

Anyway.

She seems to be nice; I don't know her name yet. I'll ask nii-san when he gets home with father tonight. I wonder if Kiyoshi minds an arranged marriage? Or if he even cares, either way. Yesterday, I overheard some girls from Mori high talking about a novel they had to read for class, and the main herione has to have an arranged marriage. They likened it to a vice, or osme sort of punishment, but really, I never thought of it like that. I still don't- it isn't as though we're auctioned off to the highest bidder like cattle; maybe that's how it was in fuedal times, but not today.

But for now, it isn't a future husband I'm fretting about, it alegebra. Must go now to review for an exam.

I took Kohana out to the park today, and we stayed from late in the afternoon till sunset, watching the sky change colors. She is an amazing child; in half an hour, she was queen of the playground with her own little gathering of new friends. They organized a play-acting thing with mermaids and sea urchins and talking dolphins and played. It was like my little sister just drew people in; they couldn't help but want to be with her. She even took time out of her busy play with new friends she made in just a couple of hours to come sit with me a few minutes to watch it. It was a nice, peaceful moment.

All my hopes, my future, is tied into the little girl. She has to succeed, she has to be better than me. Life will be ever so much easier for her; people like being around her. She shines.

...Thank God.

Kohana is five this year, six this winter. It's weird to look back on pictures and see her as a tiny, immobile infant. She smiled when she was a few months old, and laughed too, far sooner than I or Kiyoshi did. I take it as a good sign though. I want Kohanna to be happy, to be strong. Or, at the very least, stronger than me.

When we got home, she sat on my bed after the maids had cleared away the dishes and supper was over. While I did my homework, Kohana watched me,and it seemed strange that she would want to watch me when she is the more interesting sister.

So many things to write about, so little time from studying.

The first I suppose I should mention is the fact that my sensei is utterly, viably insane. I've never used the word abunai before in my life, but she honestly is an abunai.

She had some sort of... I don't know, some sort of screaming fit, about not knowing where she was, or in what room, or even what year it was. Then Suzuki-sensei got even louder over not having any oxygen in the room, and that's when I thought she had some sort of medical condition. So I ran to go get the closest teacher, in the 2-A class room, to get the sensei there. He seemed to know Suzuki-sensei, and he told her she had to stop her antics. Yes, antics, because it seemed her screaming and flailing was supposed to be her idea of a joke.

A joke? She was loud and horribly unprofessional; it wasn't funny it was... well... it was annoying, to tell the truth. I've never felt irritation at a sensei before, ever! I've never felt irritation at anyone at Ouran before, let alone a teacher whom I'm supposed to respect. I even ran to get another teacher, and I felt so embarrassed for having wasted his time, and the time of his students.

Suzuki-sensei's from Mori High and when I asked Yuki-kun about her, he didn't know her personally, but said he'd heard about her. Wonderful.

So that was one thing.

The other... I had my very first kiss in the library. I can't believe it; thank god it was with someone nice It was an accident, and I feel horrible for it. But at the same time, I sort of almost don't because it was nice to get it out of the way. And to give something like that to someone who's nice and doesn't make me feel entirely scared. How confusing.

The third and final thing is: I still have no idea what got into Kyohei-san, but whatever it was, I think, ran its course and now he's back to normal. It was the strangest thing, and I really do think he has some sort of medical condition with low blood sugar and the like. Ever after he ate somehting, he still didn't act like his usual self, but then, a lot of people I saw, including my classmate Mayumi, were acting.... weird.

...I still refuse to believe she actually wanted to kiss me. Re-fuse.

...I can't eve begin to describe what went on today. But here are highlights:

*Takenaga has discovered feelings for Haruhi-han, 0_0

*...Kyohei Takano, Yuki-kun's friend? He... well, I think he has some medical condition with low blood sugar or something, in fact, I am sure of it. But he kissed me on the top of the head and said he had to know my name.


ME! Again, I stand by my shocked face. 0_0 I'll post the rest later on, when I gather my thoughts better. When I gather myself better!

Today I actually found three places who wanted the rabbits I took in last month! Two families, related to three of our servants, and one pet store, also owned by Jinhanna's (she's the sister of our cook) family. They took every single last one, and I couldn't be happier. So now I only have a handful of feild mice that I can let loose again when the rains stop pounding their little homes to bits.

One day, I'd like to be able to have a real pet that isn't hidden. I'm sure the grounds keepers know, and the rest of the household. Everyone but my siblings and parents. But so far it hasn't been an issue, so I haven't prodded into the topic.

Mother announced today that before the new semester starts up, we shall go to Alberta and possibly to Los Angelas if there's time. I have to admit it would be nice to see Elizabeth again, so, I'm looking forward to it. Mmm. I'm tired tonight for some reason. Perhaps I should go to bed early.

Today I went on my... well, I went to the movies with Yuki-kun. We saw this really good movie, called 'Black Coffee', and it was a mystery. A murder mystery! I had no idea mysteries were so good; I had no idea who the kill was until ten minutes before the movie was over with. It was wonderful, the whole day.

I had asked the driver to drop me off a block or so before the movie theater because driving up to a theater in a town car isn't as bad as arriving in a limo, but it draws a lot of attention. He wouldn't though, so I basically just ran out of the car as fast as I could.

I met up with Yuki-kun and we got in line, talking. He held my hand the whole time We had such a good time, and I actually talked and held a real life conversation with him. And I didn't stutter or blush or fall into any uncomfortable silences. It was wonderful.

And even when he didn't have to, he held my hand and I

I know he's just being nice, and even so, I had a wonderful time. I will not mess this up- at the very least, he is my friend. I don't have many, so he is this is precious to me.

My mother, to her credit, only squeeled a little. I think I could have told her Yuki-kun is a Mori High school student, and I don't think she would have cared too much (my father would have though, so we didn't exactly mention it. He's in Alberta, Canada this week anyway). She believes in "free love" and probably would have thought it romantic, even though we're just friends and we were just going to see a movie.

...She reads too many romance books.

But, to her credit, she loves me, and wants me to be happy. And today, I was. Very much so.

Today is Saturday.

....

Tomorrow is my date outing with Yuki-kun. I am so nervous. I know he's just being a nice friend, but I'm still excited for it. We're seeing a movie and then he thought maybe we could go to an ice cream parlor for a little while.

I have no idea what to wear, or do, or say. I hope I remember how to speak. I hope I don't clam up, It's easy to talk with Yuki-kun after I just swallow and answer him, and pretty soon, I can converse with him.

A girl in class asked me yesterday why I chose Mori-senpai as my host. And I just shrugged and smiled because I didn't know what to say to that; I still don't. But it's okay.

Tonght was Shizuru-san's gala. She danced a traditional Japanese dance in kimono and afterwards, she and I stuck with each other and mingled at the party. She invited me this afternoon by chance, when we met in one of mother's shops. A dry cleaner ruined her dance kimono and I was genuinely shocked to see how badly water damaged it was. It was like looking at a priceless painting after someone threw acid on it. I almost cried. I don't know if this is melodramatic of me or not, but it was so sad, knowing that there had never been a kimono like that before, and never would be again.

Grandfather says that even if kimono were ever mass produced to look exactly the same, they would still be slight different. Each kimono is like a living person; none are the same no matter how seemingly identical they are. He says that human error would make sure that each kimono would be different no matter how hard we tried to make them exactly the same- a loose thread here, a slight dye variation here, even if we used machines. Machines are made by man, and thus, imperfect as well. I know at least, if nothing else, this is true.

So Shizuru and I spent the night together at her gala, and it was unlike anything I;ve ever been to. Not because I've never been to parties like this, but because I;ve never been active at one. Elrechai-san was there as well as Kaze-san. Oh! I even saw Ohtori Kyouya-san as well. I even managed to smile and bow to him in passing. I didn't want to take up any of his time, but I'm proud at myself for not shrinking away from people this time. I think I'm growing.

I got another email from Elizabeth-san today. It really perked my day up. Her father and my mother are something like international business partners. We don't get to see each other often as she lives in California and I live here, but we can keep in touch through the internet. She asked me to write her a note in Japanese to see if she could translate it yet. The email from her today was requesting a translation into english because she could only make out the kanji symbol for "rabbit" and "harpooned".

You could imagine what she initially thought of my letter.

Actually, I mentioned the Host Club and my designated host, Mori (unfortunately, this was the kanji she mistook to mean literaly 'harpooned'). She thinks the idea is neat. Here's what she wrote:

Hey 'Suki!

What's going on on your side of the world? I just had to take a break from packing; we're off on holiday to England for a little while. Mother said the harsh sun was getting to her. Personally, I think it's all the botax. Whatev. So, anyway, how're the animals doing? You mentioned something about finding a place for all those rabbits you took in; congrats! Glad they didn't have to die. Oh, Jon and Mark say hi, they're coming with me if you can believe it! Anyway, gotta go. Talk to you later; call me tomorrow, okay? It'll be boring having to wait in all those lines in the airport.

Love and turtles,
Liz

PS- could you send me a translation of the email you wrote? I thought I'd learned enough but I guess I was wrong. Somethign about a harpooned rabbit? Ugh, I hope not!

I should go now; Kiyoshi knocked on my door to tell me supper was ready. After that, I need to finish my essays. I had my doubts about Tennyson as an author, but it's really been interesting! The English really have some good history when it comes to writers. But don't tell Shizuru I thought this. :3